The depression in my spirit mimicked the weather that autumn afternoon:  dark, low-lying clouds; wind-whipped brown leaves flying several feet off the ground, and uninterrupted falling rain.

A heavy sadness spawned a flow of tears almost as constant as the rain.  The pain was relentless:  an emotional ache analogous to the throbbing of a raw wound on the body where the flesh beneath the skin is exposed.  I wasn’t even sure why I felt that way.  Yet an intentional decision to focus on God’s Word offered perspective, which is the capacity to see issues clearly, to distinguish the temporary from the eternal, the true from the false, the important from the trivial.

I thought about the sovereignty of God, how nothing can happen to me without His permission.  As David put it, “My times are in Your hand” (Psalm 31:15a).

I remembered Romans 8:28:  “And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (I also thought of Romans 8:29, which mentions the goal of Christlikeness for His followers. I figured the “all things” in verse 28 were prerequisites for cultivating the image of Jesus.)

I recalled Jesus’ emotional pain in the Garden of Gethsemane just prior to His arrest and crucifixion (Mark 14:33-35).  Before he prayed, He was “very distressed and troubled.”  His soul was “deeply grieved to the point of death.”  I also recalled the assertion in Hebrews 5:7: “In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears.”

The words of Psalm 30:5 sustained me:  “Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

And I fixed my hope on the promise concerning the new heaven and the new earth: “He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain.” I realized that my sadness was temporary!

I didn’t feel like a winner that day in the fight against despondency.  Yet God’s Word buoyed my spirit against the huge waves of despondency, and enabled me to carry on with my ministry without throwing in the towel.  The verses I reflected on generated this poem, which reveals both the lament as well as the hope that surfaced in my heart that day.

Like Falling Rain

My tears descend like falling rain.
Their constant flow reveals the pain
of much regret, of fragile heart.
I cannot stop them once they start.

With each teardrop there’s an ache.
I did not know one’s heart could break
so many times in just one day.
Despondency won’t go away.

I shout! Yet God seems not to hear.
He leaves untouched my hurt, my fear.
Where is the God of Abraham?
Where’s El Shaddai, the great “I AM?”

Like fallng rain, hope too descends.
Are there not any dividends
to faith within the here and now?
Will God assist me? When? And how?

Does He not care when what I feel
makes dying grow in its appeal?
Though it’s racked by doubt, my mind turns
to God’s Word. Here is what it learns.

He gave His Spirit. He is near!
In time He’ll wipe away each tear.
Though I do not know how, or when,
my lips will smile and sing again.

Christ understands the tears I’ve shed.
He also wept before He bled.
His cross absorbed His tears, and mine.
Heart-rending pain serves to refine.

God never acts except from love.
My darkness was designed above
for fruitfulness, and for my gain.
It’s grace outpoured, like falling rain.

When has truth from God’s Word sustained you through despondency or some other form of affliction?

What truth or verses did the Holy Spirit bring to your mind?

Who in your sphere of influence could benefit from your story and from the verses that instilled hope within you?

Who could benefit from the blend of transparency and biblically-informed hope offered in this post? Will you send this post to him or her today?