June 16, 2018   A Day When Faith Made a Difference

What invaded my spirit today wasn’t the searing emotional pain that opens the floodgates to my tear ducts, until a pool forms on my shirt or the floor.  Not a throbbing heartache that made me doubt whether I’d survive until bedtime.

Been there.  Done that.  Many times.

Nor did the emotional pendulum swing to the opposite side of the arc, leaving me numb, lethargic of spirit, demotivated, as if a high humidity in the heart made it difficult to breathe. In such a state, I couldn’t weep even if you offered me big bucks for every tear.

Been there, too.  And I don’t even know which extreme I dread more.

 

A Milder Episode

Today’s depressive episode fell somewhere in the middle of the symptom spectrum.

Not anguish of soul.

Not pain or grief.

Not debilitating enough to deserve the label, “smothering dread.”

Not hopelessness that makes death seem more appealing.

No, its onset was more gradual, and I’d describe it as a quieter, more subdued despondency.  Not pleasant, but not paralyzing, either.

I compare it to twilight, when it’s dark enough to turn on your headlights, yet you can still identify the color of houses and see children playing in the yards. Or like a persistent light rain that falls for hours, rather than the electrical storm that brings house-rattling thunder and a deluge of rainfall that makes you wonder if you should start building an ark.

I felt empty (if you can accurately categorize “empty” as a feeling), as if my physical body operated without any immaterial parts inside.

Lonely, as if my wife and grown son would never return from their errands and I’d never know companionship again (except for my ever-faithful dachshund).

But I know from my past pilgrimage that a more manageable attack of despondency may worsen if I don’t fight it. So I told the Lord how I felt, and delved into His Word in Isaiah 40-41.

 

Sustaining Words

What a portrait of God I saw!

“Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord, or as His counselor has informed Him?  With whom did He consult and who gave Him understanding?” (Isa. 40:13-14).

“It is He who sits above the vault of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers, who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in” (40:22).

“To whom will you liken Me, that I should be his equal?” says the Holy One. “Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars” (40:25-26).

“The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the end of the earth, does not become weary or tired.  His understanding is inscrutable” (40:28).

What Isaiah 40 says about God reminded me of the lyrics of Laura Story’s song, Indescribable. As a worship response to what I read about God, I went to YouTube and heard her 4 minutes, 7 seconds version that shows lyrics with eye-popping nature pictures as backdrop.

 

What a picture of God’s Word Isaiah painted!

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever” (40:8).

 

What heart-massaging promises I digested!

“He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power…Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary” (40:29, 31).

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (41:10).

 

So What?

Often, a mild bout of despondency worsens as the day edges closer to night.  Not this time.

Instead of looking inward, I tilted my chin and looked upward.

Instead of listening to the first volleys of negative self-talk, I cupped my ears so I could more readily hear what God wanted to say to me through His written Word.

I prayed Psalm 119:28b: “Strengthen me according to Your Word.”

And He did!

 

When has a truth from God’s Word assuaged your discouragement or comforted your spirit?

What passage or truth exerted this positive effect on you?

With whom did you share how God’s Word enabled you that day?

Which verse cited in this post is God’s Spirit nudging you to memorize?