Imagine you have one year to live. What difference would that knowledge make in how you live those 365 days?
What would you do differently? What would you add to your schedule? What would escalate in importance? What would you drop from your daily or weekly routine? What could you do to minimize regrets on that final day?
On your last day, what would you need to see as a Christ-follower in order to conclude, “I lived my last year well”?
Defining Wisdom
No one knows exactly how much time he has left. Yet making the most of the remaining time requires hard thinking now about priorities and relationships. To start with, it’s important to determine the evaluative criteria by which we’d assess our final year.
What spurs me to mull over this issue is my meditation on Psalm 90. After stating that the typical person has 70 years (or due to strength, 80), Moses prayed, “So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12).
What is wisdom?
According to that verse, it’s grasping the brevity of life, the inevitability of death, then backing up and living now in light of that reality. It isn’t a morbid thing to ponder our earthly passing. It’s the key to living well and prioritizing the eternal over the temporal.
If I knew I had only a year left, here are some of the questions I’d address. My questions are representative rather than exhaustive. And I’m only providing two categories to mull over. Allow these probes to serve as a catalyst for your own thinking.
Important Personal Relationships
What impact should this one-year-to-live awareness have on my personal relationship with Christ?
Who among my family members and friends should receive more of my time? What forms can this time take?
Is there anyone to whom I owe an apology?
Is there anyone from whom I am estranged? What can I say or do to try one more time to heal this breach? (I can’t guarantee reconciliation. In Romans 12:18, Paul said, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (emphasis mine). All I can do is ask the Lord for a warm spirit when I approach the person and plead with Him to soften the other person’s heart.)
Is there anyone to whom I’ve intended to express deep affection or gratitude, but I haven’t followed through? (Folks can’t smell the flowers on their coffin, so give verbal bouquets lavishly while they’re still around.)
What promises have I made to individuals that I still have time to fulfill?
In terms of my relationships, what good intentions lie dormant?
Is there anyone for whom I am burdened spiritually? Does the Lord want to use me to share a winsome testimony and plan of salvation?
Who is God’s Spirit prompting me to intercede for on a more consistent basis?
Family Business and Housekeeping Matters
What home and property maintenance projects need to be completed to free my family members from the burden of doing it later?
What information does my spouse or children need to know that only I am currently privy to?
Do my spouse and grown children know details of my final wishes? (Burial or cremation? Who’ll give the message and personal reflections at my memorial service? Elements of the service (desired hymns, Scripture readings, etc.)?
What contact information should I prepare so my survivors will know who to inform about my passing? (Include friends who live far off as well as social media followers and account information.)
What personal and household records/accounts information will they need to know after I’m gone? Examples: checking and savings, insurance policies, investments, utilities, household maintenance companies, account passwords, etc.)? A financial advisor told me sad stories of adults who died, with survivors knowing nothing about matters such as insurance policies, investment accounts and outstanding debts. In some cases, resources they were entitled to weren’t received or were delayed by years.
Prayerful Reflection
Set aside an unhurried prayer time and ask the Lord to guide your answers to those questions. Drive to a cemetery for this prayer and reflection time. Graves and tombstones offer a sobering reminder of the transient nature of this life.
For more biblical input on the brevity of life, read these texts before you pray and seek guidance: Psalm 39:4-6; Psalm 49:5-12; Psalm 90 and James 4:13-17.
Meet with a financial advisor for more specific assistance with the questions posed under “Family Business and Household Matters.” Leaving behind a detailed list of names, companies, accounts and contact information for your next of kin will serve as a mundane yet vital ministry to them.**
When I’m tempted to put off important matters of this sort, I remember “The Procrastinator’s Epitaph.” Along the top of his tombstone appear these words: Here Lies a man who was always “going to…”
Chiseled on the next line are these words: Now he’s gone!
Your Feedback
In the two categories of queries I provided, what questions would you add?
What other categories or kinds of information would you add to this discussion?
Have you or someone you know been left in the dark on important matters after a spouse died?
I’d love to hear from you!
**My next post will delve into detail about the kinds of personal and household information I’m providing for my spouse and grown sons. That post will include a Christian financial advisor’s checklist of items and information to leave behind for your family.
Terry – great SPECIFIC questions. I won’t forward to Mike. He gets depressed thinking about mortality. But I have had a document about financial specifics that I prepared for our sons and him to know.